Kev thuam yog qhov zoo rau kev kos duab yog tias koj paub siv nws kom raug, vim nws tau tsim los txhim kho peb lub neej. Hmoov tsis zoo, tsis yog txhua tus paub yuav soj ntsuam qhov kev ua ntawm lwm tus neeg li cas, qhov no ua rau qhov kev thuam ntawm lub qhov ncauj ntawm qee tus neeg tsis zoo li kev tham nrog kev sib tham, tab sis ua kev thuam rau ib tug neeg.
Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws uas tus kws tshaj lij yuav tsum nco ntsoov yog tias nws yuav tsum muaj kev hais lus tsis yog qhov dav dav, tab sis hauv rooj plaub. Txawm li cas los xij, txawm tias qhov xwm txheej no, tsis muaj kev lees paub tias qhov kev thuam yuav pom tau qhov tsis ncaj ncees. Yog tias koj xav tsis yog thuam tib neeg, tab sis kom qhia koj cov kev xav thiab cov tswv yim rau nws, koj yuav tsum nco qab qee cov cai hauv kev sib tham:
Qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws yog kom nco ntsoov lub hom phiaj ntawm kev sib tham, qhov tshwm sim uas koj xav kom ua tiav, thiab tsim cov kev hais tawm nyob ntawm qhov no. Piv txwv li, yog tias koj xav tau kev ua haujlwm yuav tsum ua nrawm nrawm, qhov no yog ib qho, tab sis yog tias koj xav tau qhov zoo ntawm kev ua haujlwm kom siab dua, qhov no yog lwm yam.
Kev thuam yog "tsis yog" tsis yog taw tes txog kev ua yuam kev - tus neeg thuam yuav tsum tau qhia txoj hauv kev tawm ntawm qhov xwm txheej. Yog li, nws yuav tsis ncaj ncees lawm los tsim kev sib tham hauv lub suab ntawm cov lus raug liam. Tej zaum nws tsim nyog nug seb tus ua txhaum nws tus kheej xav li cas txog qhov no.
Koj cov lus hais yuav tsum tsis txhob pib los ntawm cov lus "koj" lossis "koj", vim cov nqe lus no yog pib liam. Zoo dua los hais tias "Kuv xav tias" lossis "Kuv xav tias." Piv txwv li, yog tias ib tus neeg tsis tau tiv nrog lub luag haujlwm, koj yuav tsum tsis txhob hais tias nws tsis nrog lub luag haujlwm. Zuj zus, nws tau ua tiav txoj haujlwm. Peb tuaj yeem hais tias hauv koj lub tswv yim, nws tsis tau tiv nrog txoj haujlwm no. Tus nrog sib tw yuav coj cov lus no ntau sai dua, thiab nws yuav muaj peev xwm txuas ntxiv qhov kev sib tham nrog nws hauv txoj kev tsim kho.
Thaum lub sijhawm "debriefing" koj yuav tsum tsis txhob hais dav dav - hais cov nqe lus xws li "koj ib txwm ua qhov no", "koj ua qhov no txhua lub sijhawm." Zoo dua los hais "hauv qhov no, koj tau ua nws." Thiab qhia seb qhov tseeb ntawm tib neeg yuam kev yog dab tsi. Ntawd yog, nws yog qhov zoo tshaj plaws los xav txog qhov xwm txheej tshwj xeeb, thiab tsis yog qhov ua tau zoo ntawm tus neeg.
Tsis qhuas ib co kom thiaj thuam lwm tus. Cov lus xws li “tus poj niam uas ruam dhau lawm yeej paub tias” lossis “cov menyuam pib kawm ntawv tseem nkag siab ntau dua li koj,” lossis “ib tug pojniam uas tu tau ntau tshaj,” ua rau neeg txaj muag. Nyob rau tib lub sijhawm, tsis tsuas yog lub hom phiaj ntawm kev sib tham yuav tsis tiav. Ib tus neeg yuav tsis txaus siab, thim mus rau nws tus kheej, thiab yog vim li ntawd, nws yuav muaj ntau lub nyuaj. Nov yog qhov tseeb tshwj xeeb rau menyuam yaus.
